1 CORINTHIANS 1 VS 27&28

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27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise;

 

God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

 

28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things

 

—and the things that are not—

 

to nullify the things that are,

 

DAY AFTER SHE DIED

The room was quiet ,so quiet a pin drop will be heard , a very strange happening in a house with a full family where everyone also has their family already .Even the little kids are aware of the tense situation and were silently clinging to their parents loins.

Knowing what was coming apparently didn’t help to lessen  the blow of it’s effect and even though it was a relieve that their mother, grandma to the little ones finally took her last breath after fighting  the sickness for the past two month, they still wish it was all a lie, that she wasn’t dead  and someone will jump out of a curtain telling them it was just a prank and that she is fine.

The ring of the phone rang loudly through the entire house and no one made an attempt to pick it because the response from the other end of the receiver will finalize what they know to be already true but wished was otherwise.

Standing up on shaky  legs grandpa ALEX picked the phone with a deep throated “hello”

And the fall of their grandpa as he dropped the phone told them all they need to know, grandma is truly gone and if care is not taken grandpa is not far behind.

What a morning it was, the morning after she died when things took a shift in another direction for the family.

STORY I READ

Link to the story:

Two blue lines

Authors’ summary:

Bella, a good girl, was dumped by her long-time boyfriend. Edward, a young doctor, is feeling suffocated by his father’s plans. Waking up next to a stranger is a shock for a good girl. Seeing the girl of your dreams run out on you the morning after sucks for a nice guy. What if two blue lines will bind the two together for life? What if they can’t even remember how they came to be? Continue reading

Tuesday, March 08, 2016

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This is probably another bad idea but who cares? It’s not like am gonna share it with anyone I  just need a place where I can collect my thoughts and come to terms with what am feeling and maybe make a decision. A dairy is totally what I need right now (great! Now am arguing with myself)

So ……..dear diary(wow! I sound like a 5th grader)….umm….am gonna call you Edward(sorry if you don’t like the name but am a big fan of the twilight series….you probably don’t care since you’re just a book but I digress).

Things is not so great right now, am in the stage where things is just developing and nothing is certain yet. Am pulled in different directions , torn between what I want and what is right while wishing the two could be the same. And am the kind that’s always 100% never half or almost full ,it’s either all or nothing.

Ok am not making sense to you am just going to stop(am referring to a book, of course I don’t make sense). Am just going to stop here maybe I’ll write some other times

SEAT 102

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Looking around I see the allure this room holds,it was very shielded with little light coming in making it perfect for it to be used as a cinema.The hall has a ancient elegance vibe to it which is why I like coming here though with a different companion,sparing a glance at his beautiful face I felt a little rush
‘stupid heart when will you ever learn ‘ I muttered
‘What was that’
‘Nothing’ I replied
Moving down the aisle I smiled when I realised we were heading towards the same seat I always seem to be in,once a month me and my best friend always come down here to relax and for some weird reason our ticket seat number was always seat 102,I can just see him rolling his eyes.
Finally on our seat I felt him lean over as I got a hint of his cologne ;masculine but not overpowering just the right intensity.

‘Did you mean that text you sent me ‘
I hesitated,I knew the text he was talking about but the answer could bring only 2 outcomes non of which my heart will thank me for but have always hated lies so….

‘No, I only send that so you can let go of the issue I really just want to know if am the only one that does that’
‘So you don’t care about me?’ he asked casually
‘No’ I noticed a look of surprise cross his face,smug son of a bit*h

‘So that reaction I saw earlier when I introduced Vikky as my girlfriend was you not caring?’

‘No that was my stupid heart being stupid’ I grinned even though my heart was breaking inside but I had to do this.

‘I don’t care about you but i still love you,and that reaction was because I still had feelings for you but then my wishing you guys a happy relationship after is me not caring’

‘What if i told you i still love you’ that was when i saw red,fuming I took my bag and made for the door and even though I could hear his footsteps behind me I kept going.

‘Baby’ he probably meant to calm me down but in my state I was past calm,immediately after stepping outside into the open air I whirled around

‘Unbelievable!,I can’t believe you just did that to me,do you know what it took me to get to where I am? to not care? do you how many times I cried myself to sleep? do you know how the thought of your name alone is like a hot knife twisted into my heart? do you know how much I longed to hear that word from you or for you to at least care about me? I loved you so fucking much that my heart race anytime I hear your voice becoming a shy mess anytime were together and anxious when we’re apart.I loved you so much that just your loyal friendship would have being enough but you used me! anytime you feel bored or can’t be with those you think worthy of your affection you reach out, I was so thirsty for you and your love but you left me dying in the drought.
I tried so much to not love you to not care but all i could manage was to not care,eveytime I was finally ready to let you go you reach out and suck me right in.’ hysterically I laughed
If i knew all it’ll take for me to stop loving you was for you to say you love me,you just have to go out with a bang don’t you?’
taking a deep breath,I wiped the tears that was falling down my eye while he just looked on like I had grown two heads.

‘Don’t ever reach out to me again,i used to envy those you allowed into your heart but now i pity them’

Heads held high I walked away,am finally free and I want to shout it to the world but first I have to tell my best friend digging through my bag for my phone I smiled because he’s always teasing me about the size of my bag.After a few seconds I found it and dialed his number.
The ring of the phone mixed with the sound of the atmosphere and something clicked,years have waited for a love that was never mine and I missed out on the unbridled love my best friend has shown me.Always there comforting me each time I had my heart broken, being my shoulder to cry on while singing to my ears how much he loves me
Gosh am such a fool! I convinced myself he meant it as a friend.And because have being desperately holding on to my pain, I didn’t notice my heart had started beating for another.
‘Hello’ he answered with his deep throaty voice which meant he was probably already asleep
‘I love you’ I heard his sharp intake of air and I suddenly felt fear,maybe he too has moved on but I had to get everything off my chest
‘I am sorry I took so long to realise it ,I was desperately holding on to the past but not anymore B .Am finally over him ,i have being since you came into my life but i just didn’t want to let go because i was afraid of the future,I understand if am too late but ………’

‘Cam i love you too’
I heard amidst my rambling
And for the first time in 6 years i feel my heart beat.